tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28594528913562241712024-03-13T11:21:34.233-07:00Anxiety, and how i live with it.Barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10916928241021333852noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2859452891356224171.post-43813937633938954732011-03-13T09:30:00.000-07:002011-03-13T09:30:02.110-07:00How I Get Through AnxietyOne way i endeavor anxiety is writing quick poems to release my exasperate intuition. I'm going to introduce a couple of my poems every week or so, i love to write poems i may not be the best but i feel they give out a sense of humbleness.<br />
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The first one I'm going to introduce is one i wrote when my ex was cheating on me:<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span>Faded love.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>My love has gone,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>The one I fallen for, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Cheating, illicit deceit, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Misleading my heart,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>For personal gain,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>My love has faded, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>For the one my heart had fallen for,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>My love has faded,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Faded into abyss,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Faded love.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> During this time i was intense pain and unhappiness, i wrote numerous poems but this one i think gives out allot of understanding.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-D1xv3CT_Vsg/TXzwl9Vam8I/AAAAAAAAAB0/UiL3jqLR2Ss/s1600/20080109-Cheating+GF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-D1xv3CT_Vsg/TXzwl9Vam8I/AAAAAAAAAB0/UiL3jqLR2Ss/s320/20080109-Cheating+GF.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Finally my second on i wrote to a girl i really like but she had a boyfriend, it doesn't really seem like a matter of importance but the problem is i have horrible anxiety and it kicked into to a sense of regret and and enviousness.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</style> <div class="MsoNormal"><span>I see you in the morning,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>But your back is all I see,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>My trembling veins cry out for help,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Help me stop this tainted love,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>But all I perceive is my heart,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Loving something so tainted,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Something that will remain,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Tainted, as my love I have for you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ITJM1Icta20/TXzwY0AuKXI/AAAAAAAAABw/KWFcchGIXog/s1600/Ignore+Me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ITJM1Icta20/TXzwY0AuKXI/AAAAAAAAABw/KWFcchGIXog/s320/Ignore+Me.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Thank-you for reading please comment bad or good, either way it's positive for me so i can improve for future reference. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span>Thanks :)</span></div>Barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10916928241021333852noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2859452891356224171.post-31755644674793048692011-02-17T23:12:00.000-08:002011-02-21T16:06:36.333-08:00How Anxiety Affects Me<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What is anxiety? most people have it, well everyone has it at-least once. Most people ridicule the ones whom are affected by anxiety. (if you don't wanna read the symptoms scroll down to read story of my life and how i developed GAD)</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9wqk52TD-gk/TV36dnBaoVI/AAAAAAAAABA/VZHXq5_pZdM/s1600/Screen+shot+2011-02-18+at+04.46.16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="382" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9wqk52TD-gk/TV36dnBaoVI/AAAAAAAAABA/VZHXq5_pZdM/s400/Screen+shot+2011-02-18+at+04.46.16.png" width="400" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4b5d67; line-height: 15px;"></span></span></span><br />
<div style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 18px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What is anxiety or GAD? </span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 18px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Generalized Anxiety Disorder is diagnosed when a person worries excessively for a period longer than 6 months. People with GAD cannot get rid of their concern, even when they logically know that the situation is not appropriate for the high amount of worry. Common symptoms of GAD include:</span></span></div><ul style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 9px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">fatigue</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">headaches</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">muscle tension</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">difficulty swallowing</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">irritability</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">nausea</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">feeling out of breath</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">hot flashes</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">inability to relax</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">feeling of restlessness</span></span></li>
</ul><div style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 18px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The symptoms can range from mild, where the person can still function, hold down a job, etc. to severe, in which the person cannot perform daily activities. Generalized Anxiety Disorder has an incredibly high correlation with depression, therefore many people have both.</span></span><strong style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Risk Factors:</span></span></strong></div><ul style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 9px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A buildup of stress</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A serious or prolonged physical illness</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A personality type or disorder more prone to anxiety</span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 14px; margin-right: 24px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">An anxiety disorder in the family</span></span></li>
</ul><div style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 18px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Treatment: </span></span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Again, since there are so many different theories pertaining to psychiatric disorders, there are many different methods of treatment. However, since I am focusing on the biological component to this disorder, it is important to describe the popular biological treatments.</span></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 18px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Those with GAD are typically prescribed anti-anxiety drugs, which include benzodiazepines. Benzodiazepines function by binding GABA to the appropriate neuro-receptor sites. Common benzodiazepines include: Xanax, Valium, Ativan, and more.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">How I developed GAD.</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It may not mean much for the average individual, personally i'm affected by anxiety and depression on a daily basis. I have constantly deprived myself of sleep, i'm constantly going to lectures on the brink of collapsing. During this time i'm unable to talk to people with a common state of mind as i'm constantly wondering if i'm going to offend them with certain sentences i'm about to convey. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Going out is a hard task looking into peoples glares, constantly thinking someone is going to hurt, or verbally abuse me. All this channels back to my past, i was overweight, unattractive, constantly bullied but didn't have the confidence to tell my father as he would tell the teachers, doing this would perspire into intense beatings. It didn't end at school my dad was an alcoholic, 80% of the time he was drunk and who could blame him after two failed marriages. Taking out his anger is what he did to me, i came home and was punched, hit on walls, and shouted at. Wherever i went i was scared, nowhere to go. </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WNhyvQ9hfpI/TV3_M2Srb9I/AAAAAAAAABE/vs8z66A0CBo/s1600/Screen+shot+2011-02-18+at+05.09.42.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WNhyvQ9hfpI/TV3_M2Srb9I/AAAAAAAAABE/vs8z66A0CBo/s1600/Screen+shot+2011-02-18+at+05.09.42.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="330" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WNhyvQ9hfpI/TV3_M2Srb9I/AAAAAAAAABE/vs8z66A0CBo/s400/Screen+shot+2011-02-18+at+05.09.42.png" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is when i developed my compulsive eating disorder, i constantly ate until i threw up, shaking as i were in alaska wearing just my undergarments. Every relationship iv'e had has ended in disaster, my ex cheated on me, i've been dominated as i'm always scared that the girl is going to break up with me, i always accepted everything and slaved for them. One girl i talked to recently, i ask her "what kind of boys do you like"? she replies "skinny nerdy ones" I barely ate for two weeks, i could of died. I've constantly moved and making friends is a hard task for one such as myself, the ones i do have live miles away and i'm honored that they would welcome me into there lives. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have written a poem to represent my feelings.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Anxiety</span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Anxiety, an intense sense of a fortified fortress,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Parrying all senses of normality,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As I shuffle out into the grievous world in lonesomeness,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My speculative cognition connecting, </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With every living scowl,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Scowls starring into my soul,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As my mind processes rigmarole into my membrane,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I ponder,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As my body descents into anxiety,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I ponder.</span></span></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My Friend Jamie</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;">I have good friend named Jamie, he suffers from the same condition as i, but his is more severe. When he was younger, he didn't have the best father, him mum was a schizophrenic and suffered from post traumatic stress and was on medication to get better. During this time his dad moved away to Wales with another woman, soon after this perspired she and jamie both moved to a rough family whom are all criminals. Two- three years after his dad moved back to scotland so jamie was able visit his father every weekend, but his mum took another break down. She was enable to look after Jamie so he ended up moving to his dads. Jamie enrolled into a new school and had to make new friends, his inability to make friends ended up in solidarity. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;">Jamies mum got fitter and was able to move back into her home, during this time jamie had a girlfriend whom he spent allot of time with, she cheated on him various times but still stuck with her (he was young and nieve). He got her pregnant (accidentally) but rejected to an abortion, eventually the baby was born and everything spirald down hill, constant arguments, physical fighting, till she could take no more. She took the baby girl and moved to England to live with her family. Jamie was in emotional pain, he had no friends to support him, and family just neglected him in his emotional state.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;">Soon after Jamie pulled his socks up and vowed to himself that he would get his life back on track, Jamie applied to study media in college things improved ever-since he moved in with big shaun, but anxiety's still lingering. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;">Please comment, bad reviews is positive for me so i can improve my future blogs.</span></span><br />
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</span></span>Barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10916928241021333852noreply@blogger.com23